Not a Stranger to the Rain
by zneeze
Summary: Sneezefic starring poor Yonah, who catches a cold as she hides from the family on the ark. An unconventional sneezing-while-hiding story. Also my first story as a member of this forum, so if you're interested and you do read, please comment :)


Day 29. Forecast: Rain.

Yonah sat huddled in her hold in the bow of the ark, and shivered. Even in shelter, she – nor anyone – was completely dry or warm.

Up until now, being in a constant state of dampness was not the biggest problem Yonah had. Japheth, the man she loved, had successfully hidden her from his family in this little corner of the ark for a month. She knew she'd be dry someday soon.

But now, Yonah became aware of the dangers of this perpetual state, as soon as she heard herself say:

"Ha-chh!"

Yonah covered her mouth (albeit late), eyes growing wide. She _rarely_ sneezed. But when she was ill, it was often hard to stop herself. She thought it might already be too late, but immediately she made a more conscious effort to keep dry. She started wringing out her long, dark hair, but she could not dry the rags she was wearing quite as well. Despite the efforts, a threatening tickle soon returned to her nose, and she gave in again: "Ha-_shh!_"

Through the small peephole of her makeshift quarters, Yonah looked out in worry – but nobody was on the deck. She slumped down in relief. For all the work in hiding, letting one little sneeze ruin everything was not the plan.

As the gloomy hours went by, Yonah felt herself getting progressively worse. Her nose filled up, she shivered while wiping sweat from her brow, and she fended off sneeze after sneeze. Oh, how badly she needed to let a few of them out! Her nostrils felt like a million of the tiniest feathers were tickling them, everywhere, never stopping. Usually Yonah was able to put off a sneeze temporarily with persistent nose-rubbing (eventually making her hands even wetter), but for every time she did the tickle would soon return with a vengeance. When she could suppress it no longer, she peeked out to make sure no one was on the bow, and finally: "Chh! Hushh!" They would often multiply, doubling, tripling, or worse, the longer they were on hold.

There was no way she could find relief – no tea on the ark, no cloth to blow her nose with other than her own clothes. Who knew how long this cold would last?

Day 30.

Yonah had little rest that night. She could no longer breathe through her nose even a bit, and the tickles never let up. As the sun peeked through the peephole, Yonah awoke from an in-and-out kind of sleep by sneezing quickly and uncontrollably.

"Heh-esh! Huh-shh!"

Over her second sneeze, she heard someone coming, and she slunk down, terrified. But then she peeked through a crack and saw it was Japheth, coming with food for her.

"Yonah?" he asked quietly, opening the hold. "Was that you sneezing?"

"Yes, Japheth, I'm sorry. I'll do my best to hold them back."

But Japheth was, for a moment, worried about something else much more. He felt Yonah's forehead. "Honey? Are you feeling alright?"

She sniffled, unwilling to deny it. "No, I feel terrible, actually."

"Aww, Yonah." Japheth kissed her poor, tortured nose, sending tingles through it (not to mention other parts of her body). "I'll see what I can do scratch up around here. I'll see you again, before nightfall, I promise."

Yonah tried to answer, but after he kissed her nose it refused to be ignored, and she managed to squelch a "-mmp'chff!"

They looked at each other longingly, and Japheth stole another quick kiss, on the mouth this time, before stealing away.

He returned that night with his own fresh, dry blanket and a cloth he'd cut out of one of his shirts. She grabbed the latter immediately and brought it straight to her reddened nose, giving it a much-needed but embarrassingly loud blow. They both giggled, but then a voice called, "Japheth? Is that you?"

Yonah immediately ducked below, and Japheth ran toward the voice. It was his brother, Ham. "I thought I heard something."

"I – was moving a crate."

"Really? I thought it was louder than that."

Japheth anxiously led Ham away, and Yonah had a moment of freedom to sneeze and blow as much as her heart desired.

"Chshh! Heh…Ha-shh! Mmpfsh! Ah – achoo!"

Day 31: Still Raining.

Yonah could feel the excitement around the ark as the fortieth day drew nearer. The family all seemed to have an extra pep in their steps, even poor Aphra, eight-and-a-half months pregnant and definitely looking it.

Unfortunately, Yonah's cold was at its worst part, the sorest part, the sneeziest. She was stifling all over the place, as best she could, being especially careful when the family was out on the bow.

It was late afternoon. Japheth was waiting for the rest of the family to go below so he could sneak Yonah her meal. Shem was pacing anxiously. Mama and Aphra sat quietly, and Noah continued to call out to Father. But everyone had a single similar desire – to find light, even the tiniest speck.

Yonah would have loved for that light to hurry on up, so she could be free to run away with Japheth and sneeze as much as she wanted. Her nose itched ferociously, and stifling only clogged up her sinuses worse.

She peeked out. Shem's pacing was drawing him dangerously near to her every so often. She wanted to wait until the family was making a lot of noise – and preferably away from the hold – to sneeze. If she stifled one more time her nose would be unbreathable for another week.

Yonah heard Ham's voice. "Honey, are you okay?"

"I th-think so," replied Aphra.

"We'd better get you inside," Ham continued. Yonah wondered what was going on; she must have been showing some signs of pain.

Suddenly, Yonah's nose decided, against her will, that this was enough commotion to mask the sound of her sneeze. "Hishh-oo!"

The noise outside stopped. After a few seconds of silence, she heard Shem's voice say, "…Aysha?"

"What? That wasn't me. I thought it was Aphra."

"Nope."

Another sneeze was coming, fast.

"Huh." Shem again, sounding puzzled but alert. Yonah heard Japheth lean back near where she was.

"Ham, do you need help with Aphra?"

"I'm fine… Didn't you hear that?"

"Hear what? That animal?"

Mama now: "That was one of the animals?"

"I thought so! I thought it was one of the owls hooting." Poor Japheth, so cute, thought Yonah, doing his best to sound convincing in his cover-up.

"It's daytime. They're asleep," said Shem assertively.

But the excuse was good enough for Ham and Aphra (who was starting to moan), and they went below. Yonah heard Mama talking to Noah, who had been silent this whole time, and they too sounded like they were going inside. Only Shem and Aysha remained outside with Japheth.

Yonah was in agony now. "Huh…"

"Let's go inside, you two," Japheth said rather loudly. "It's so wet out here. You'll catch your death." He was not slow, per se, but deliberate with his words, hoping that by taking his time and being loud enough he would drown out Yonah's sneeze.

"Hah…"

"Just a second," Shem said. "I wanna look around."

"Shem, please! I'm freezing," Aysha begged.

"Yeah, you don't want Aysha to become ill. Besides, it'll –"

"Hitschh!"

"– be time to eat soon!"

Food was always a good weapon to use against Shem, and he finally conceded. Nobody heard Yonah's second sneeze! She was safe thanks to her lover. Finally, in her freedom, she let herself sneeze some more. "Ha-choo! Hushh! Huh-chh!"


End file.
